Hey friends!
Nice to be back here to share some thoughts with you!
Today I woke up and was in my devotional time, where I had this honest moment with God, I said ” God I really need your help to find myself again, because sometimes I feel kind of lost in my spiritual journey and I don’t know what to do. I feel disconnected from people in the church and I don’t know how to fix it.”
It’s been a while now that I feel this way, like I don’t belong anywhere but, specially, in my church enviromment! And I know I have dificulties to deeply connect with people and, on the other hand, I hate to keep shallow relationships. So, whwre is this leading me? I am becoming apathetic toward my community in Christ. Have you ever felt like this? Please, feel free to share your thoughts.
Anyway, besides this feeling that is following me for a few months, yesterday I watched a video on youtube talking about the consequences of church scandals in our lives! The pastor was talking about how all those sexual and financial scandals that our community as a whole are facing, will impact us, how we deal with leadership or being involved in the body of Christ. He listed 4 consequences to that and I could see myself in one of them! That’s why I decided to share it with you:
First, when “the church” hurts us or disappoints us, the first and worse consequence to Christians can be the death of our FAITH, we become “ex-evangelicals”(I hate this word, by the way) and we decide to not believe anymore, wich is pretty serious, right?
The second is, we still believe in the Gospel, but we don’t believe in the body of Christ anymore and we don’t want anything to do with it. The following consequence is that we become a lonelly(and lost) sheep, going our own way, nothing being accountable to anyone and using our personal references to keep our faith. It is a dangerous path and it can lead us to the first one, the apostasy of our faith!(1 Timothy 4).
The third consequence of our disappointment with the church can be less apparent, but it still falls short: We bocome “church goers”. We still have our faith in Christ, we are(kind of) part of His body, but we don’t want to “get involved”. We no longer desire to be an active part of the church, serving and leading. We are too afraid to get involved and be hurted again, so we stay in a “safe distance” of the body.
And this is the situation I can relate, because I am living like this for more than a year now and, to be honest, I miss a more meaningful connection with the body of Christ. I just don’t now how to fix it. I tried to get involved, I met some of the people there and started to attend home service in a small group, but for some reason, it does not feel right, it is like we are speking different languages or seeking different things. I don’t feel like we are going any deeper and it kills me. I feel I little bit stuck, I don’t know what to do.
The last consequence is: You are involved in the church, you serve and lead but deep down you have this fear. You are afraid to become the next one people will judge, or the next “spiritual abuser” and that holds you back! Some of those leaders are too afraid to speak their minds and the church are becoming “fruitless”.
Wich one resonates with you? No mater how hurted or disappointed that we all were one day, I think it is a common journey to every one of us, we all had been in one of the scenarios above, right?!
So today, I was praying and sharing this with God, like, how can I leave this apathetic feeling behing, Jesus? Because I want to fall in love again with you, I want my heart burning for the Gospel every day. So, how can we fix that?! Well, one step at the time!
“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Every day is a new chance to connect more deeply with Him! Every thing we do in our routine matters! When we choose to put God in charge of every area and task of our lives, eventually, the fruits will show up! The key is to be persistant. Let’s keep marching, even when we don’t feel like it.
I think I just need to be patient, and in time, the connections that I need and crave for, will come. I need to trust in God’s timing. I know He is working on my behalf! My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.(Psalm 121)
I hope it encourages you too! Let’s be perseverant, not quitters!
“Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.
So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.” Galatians 6:7-10
I was lost. His love found me! 